Focusing my entire day on God's deep, deep love for me. I don't know if it's the wonderful smell of apple bread in my oven, the cool, crisp sunny day, or the wonderful silence in my house today. But God keeps popping into my head the fact that He loves me! Life has not always been perfect, but even in those times I have felt His overwhelming love for me.
I'm currently listening to a podcast for my bible study tomorrow night about God's love for us. I told my bible study gals a few weeks ago that I hadn't been feeling God's presence the way I had felt it when I was in the valleys of despair last year. I told them I honestly couldn't wait until something else bad happened to me so that I could feel close to God again. All that following week, God kept reiterating to me, "I am with you." I kept wondering why God kept telling me He was with me. It's a basic Christian principle, so why did He need to keep telling me that? Well, life is good right now and you know what? God is with me. He's been with me through the good and the bad. Nothing bad has to happen to me to feel His presence. He's with me. He's with me enjoying the smell of apple bread baking in my oven right now. He's with me as I prepare for my bible study tomorrow night. He's with me as I prepare my children's church lesson for Sunday. He's with me when I go pick up the kids from school later today. He was with me in the past through some pretty sticky situations. He's ALWAYS been there. And He's always been madly in love with me.
May you feel God's presence and love today, too. If you are having trouble with that, just simply ask Him to reveal His love to you and then sit back and watch. It'll come. Live life expecting something miraculous from God.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Fall Apart
I hear songs on the radio and assume God had them written just for me. So many songs seem to apply to my life. It's like someone is right inside the deepest part of me seeing what's going on and writes a very public song about it! I'm pretty sure God has something to do with that. This is the newest one I keep hearing and know it was written for me.
My favorite line is "How can I come to the end of me and somehow still have all I need?!"
I used to be all about keeping it all together. Well, I still am to some degree. My calendar is my lifeline and it's how I keep all our family activities organized. I take my calendar everywhere, so it usually starts falling apart at this point in the year. My friend laughed at me the other day stating that my "lifeline was falling apart." I decided I needed to get some organizational help for my calendar/lifeline. I got a cute binder to keep my calendar pages in, but that was not enough. So, off I went to Office Max to find some organizers for my binder, and I got a little giddy. I hope no one noticed, but I was like a kid in a candy store. I admitted that to my highly organized husband later that evening and a look of pride just swept across his face. Maybe I'm finally arriving. ;) Now, don't be coming to me for organizing advice. I'm not that far into it. I'm just starting off with binder organizers. And I recently bought a few baskets to hold some things. (maybe I'm more organized that I originally thought...)
But the point is, I can try and organize my life all I want, but God usually has different ideas for me. God lets me have my binder organizers and baskets, but when I try to make it look like my life is all together so that I can look good to other people, that's when God steps in to save me. I'm learning that it's okay to fall apart. It's okay to be a little disheveled at times. (I've recently been spotted out and about without much makeup on lately, too!) It's okay to be human. When I'm wearing my mask of perfection, I don't seem to feel God's presence very much. But when I let it all go and it starts to crumble a bit, that's when I feel God reaching in to save me. I'm a princess...I like to be swept off my feet and saved. I was created that way. And God is all into the saving.
So, I'm going to do my job. And I'm going to let God do His job. I may fall apart every once in a while, but don't feel sorry for me. It's all good. My lifeline, on the other hand, won't be falling apart any time soon!
My favorite line is "How can I come to the end of me and somehow still have all I need?!"
I used to be all about keeping it all together. Well, I still am to some degree. My calendar is my lifeline and it's how I keep all our family activities organized. I take my calendar everywhere, so it usually starts falling apart at this point in the year. My friend laughed at me the other day stating that my "lifeline was falling apart." I decided I needed to get some organizational help for my calendar/lifeline. I got a cute binder to keep my calendar pages in, but that was not enough. So, off I went to Office Max to find some organizers for my binder, and I got a little giddy. I hope no one noticed, but I was like a kid in a candy store. I admitted that to my highly organized husband later that evening and a look of pride just swept across his face. Maybe I'm finally arriving. ;) Now, don't be coming to me for organizing advice. I'm not that far into it. I'm just starting off with binder organizers. And I recently bought a few baskets to hold some things. (maybe I'm more organized that I originally thought...)
But the point is, I can try and organize my life all I want, but God usually has different ideas for me. God lets me have my binder organizers and baskets, but when I try to make it look like my life is all together so that I can look good to other people, that's when God steps in to save me. I'm learning that it's okay to fall apart. It's okay to be a little disheveled at times. (I've recently been spotted out and about without much makeup on lately, too!) It's okay to be human. When I'm wearing my mask of perfection, I don't seem to feel God's presence very much. But when I let it all go and it starts to crumble a bit, that's when I feel God reaching in to save me. I'm a princess...I like to be swept off my feet and saved. I was created that way. And God is all into the saving.
So, I'm going to do my job. And I'm going to let God do His job. I may fall apart every once in a while, but don't feel sorry for me. It's all good. My lifeline, on the other hand, won't be falling apart any time soon!
Friday, August 19, 2011
It's just a pencil
This is what my dad sends me every year around Back to School time. He's done it for years and years. I get a letter in the mail and it's a #2 pencil to take to school.
I got my pencil in the mail today. I opened it up and laughed and got a little tear in my eye. My kids ran over to see what I was giggling about. They looked up at me confused as to why I was tearing up over a pencil. I told them my dad sends me a pencil every year to take back to school. They roll their eyes and walk away thinking I've lost my mind.
I love the little ways my dad shows me he loves me. I love that he thinks about me frequently. I love that even though I'm 38 years old, he still views me as his baby girl. I love that he probably also got a tear in his eye when he was mailing my #2 pencil.
My dad has always been my vision of my Heavenly Father. God shows me every day how much He loves me in the littlest things. He views me as a princess even though I'm viewed by others as too old to hold that title. He gave me His one and only Son to show His love for me & I'm pretty sure He also had a tear in His eye when He sent me that gift.
Fathers hold a special place in their daughter's lives. Father's have a very strong power. My husband watches how my dad treats me and wants to treat our daughter exactly the same! I'm blessed.
It's just a pencil....
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The Truth About Me
I'm perfect. Really, I am. Not in a haughty manner, but that's just how God created me to be. He sees me as absolutely perfect. I'm learning to see myself in the exact same way. God introduced a book to me within the past few months called Your Secret Name. He then re-iterated my need to read this book by giving me a song by Mandisa (He knows how much I love her!) called "The Truth About Me".
God has never seen me as a screw up. He's never seen me as a basket case or some horrid mistake that He created. He created me to be something that could be used by Him. Bumps, warts, bruises, and all. Even when I make mistakes and mess up, He STILL uses that! He truly amazes me.
I started a bible study tonight using Your Secret Name (great book, by the way). And God assembled the most amazing group of ladies to join me. Just some friends I pulled together, but we had the best time this evening...and that was just the introduction night! I'm super excited to what God will be showing us within the next few months.
When you leave things up to God, He makes things absolutely perfect. My life has been left totally up to Him, and He has redeemed me, cleansed me, and is revealing the truth about me. My friend stated tonight, "You can't afford to not view yourself the same way God views you!" How true! I'm a worth no one could estimate! And so are you! Believe it.
God has never seen me as a screw up. He's never seen me as a basket case or some horrid mistake that He created. He created me to be something that could be used by Him. Bumps, warts, bruises, and all. Even when I make mistakes and mess up, He STILL uses that! He truly amazes me.
I started a bible study tonight using Your Secret Name (great book, by the way). And God assembled the most amazing group of ladies to join me. Just some friends I pulled together, but we had the best time this evening...and that was just the introduction night! I'm super excited to what God will be showing us within the next few months.
When you leave things up to God, He makes things absolutely perfect. My life has been left totally up to Him, and He has redeemed me, cleansed me, and is revealing the truth about me. My friend stated tonight, "You can't afford to not view yourself the same way God views you!" How true! I'm a worth no one could estimate! And so are you! Believe it.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Amazing Grace
I haven't blogged in FOREVER! I also feel like I haven't heard from God in forever, too. Now that life is a little more 'manageable' for us, I guess I've wandered away from God's presence. When our trials were raging full force I was reading my Bible every day. I remember reading about the Israelites and God's big huge blessings on them, His obvious hand in their lives, the way He constantly saved them from their enemies. Then just a short time later they would be turning their backs on Him and "abandoning the Lord." At the time I was thinking, "How in the world could they do that?!" Now, I look at myself and am amazed that I am no better than the Israelites. I feel I need God when life is falling down around me, but when He helps put my feet back on steady ground, I wander off...assuming I've got everything under control.
Luckily, I've began to catch that trend in my life and have recently put a stop to it. I'm not going to wander so far off that we fall off the path again. I'm making my way back to God who is still standing in the same place He was standing when I wandered off. God continues to put the story of Jonah in my life. It keeps popping up everywhere. So, I'm going to have to examine that further and see what He is trying to tell me from that story. Expect a blog sometime when I figure that out in some "Aha!" moment.
The other day I was reading in Judges about Samson. What a mighty strong man he was, but what a jerk as well. He had wandered SO terribly far off the beaten path. But God still used him in a mighty way. The footnotes in my Bible state, "In spite of Samson's evident failures, the Spirit's presence was powerfully at work in him." Despite myself, my sinfulness, my lack of motivation, my irritability, etc, God can still use me to accomplish what He needs to accomplish. I want to strive to be more filled with God. I'm a human and I'm going to mess up, but luckily God gives me grace for those times in my life. He knew ahead of time that Becky was going to need tons of grace. The Israelites were going to need tons of grace. You were going to need tons of grace.
Amazing grace. How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.
Luckily, I've began to catch that trend in my life and have recently put a stop to it. I'm not going to wander so far off that we fall off the path again. I'm making my way back to God who is still standing in the same place He was standing when I wandered off. God continues to put the story of Jonah in my life. It keeps popping up everywhere. So, I'm going to have to examine that further and see what He is trying to tell me from that story. Expect a blog sometime when I figure that out in some "Aha!" moment.
The other day I was reading in Judges about Samson. What a mighty strong man he was, but what a jerk as well. He had wandered SO terribly far off the beaten path. But God still used him in a mighty way. The footnotes in my Bible state, "In spite of Samson's evident failures, the Spirit's presence was powerfully at work in him." Despite myself, my sinfulness, my lack of motivation, my irritability, etc, God can still use me to accomplish what He needs to accomplish. I want to strive to be more filled with God. I'm a human and I'm going to mess up, but luckily God gives me grace for those times in my life. He knew ahead of time that Becky was going to need tons of grace. The Israelites were going to need tons of grace. You were going to need tons of grace.
Amazing grace. How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Not all about me!
I've decided when you hear things over and over again that maybe, just maybe, you were meant to hear them and take them to heart. From tons of different sources, I keep hearing "it's not about you." So, apparently, "it's not about me."
Michael has taken a job. Go ahead and do a celebratory dance. Yell out a big WOO HOO!!! After many months of applications, interviews, denial letters and phone calls, only ONE job came to fruition. If you don't see God's hand in that, you can finish reading this blog right here. We have learned to spot God's hand from a mile away, and we know it's all over this job. Now, it's not a job that Michael would really have ever chosen for himself. It's a job where he is TOTALLY uncomfortable and out of his element. He knows nothing about what he is doing. Most of the people he works with are nothing like him. But God has taken a man with a willing heart to be used by Him, and said, "Michael, this is where I want you for now." Apparently, it's not about Michael and what he wants.
This job was referred to Michael from his good friend who had just started working there. It is a job dispatching fuel and grains to farmers, convenience stores, and other companies that need these services. The dispatcher gets a call for a product and communicates with a truck driver to deliver the goods. For those of you who know Michael, you might be giggling that he is communicating with truck drivers. I laughed, so go ahead. It pays well and the hours aren't horrible, so it'll do for now. And it may do forever...who knows. We've quit trying to figure out what God wants for us to do! But for now, we know why Michael has been placed there. His friend who referred the job to him is going through a really painful divorce. The divorce will probably be final sometime within the next few months. This friend needs Michael to lean on, and where does Michael sit at work? Right next to his friend. Isn't God funny like that? So, this job has nothing to do with Michael....God is just using him right now to uphold his friend and help him through the most painful experience of his life.
Wouldn't it be great if everyone lived their lives this way? Just at the mercy of wherever God needed you to be at the moment? Wouldn't it be great if everyone realized that this life has nothing to do with you? If we put others higher than ourselves. If we loved and cared for people more than we love and care for our things, our bank account, our free time, etc. What if we all began to realize that God can work best when we just let Him have control over ALL the little issues in our lives. He will put us exactly where He needs us to be. And it's okay if it's not exactly where you want to be. God knows the desires of your heart. But he also has tons of other children that He needs you to impact before He can give you the desires of your heart.
We have been giving God 100 percent for the past 5 months. Has it been easy? NO!!! It has been extremely hard. Why? Because we've been warring against our human nature. We've been fighting against what society says we need to do. Michael could have had many jobs paying very well with his flying background. But that is not what we have felt God's call to do. God wants us here, in Grand Forks, for some reason. Some reason that may have nothing to do with us. When God is finished with us here, we may be called elsewhere. Who knows? We're just floating along on faith. Jesus said in Matthew 11:29-30, "Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." Giving up our human-ness, following God is really the easy way. No worry or stress. Just let God handle it. Easier said than done...but SO worth it!
I challenge you all to give it up for God today. Let Him lead your every step. Not just some steps, but every single one. It's not all about you. Sometimes God needs you to meet the needs of His other children. Find where God is working, and join Him there.
Michael has taken a job. Go ahead and do a celebratory dance. Yell out a big WOO HOO!!! After many months of applications, interviews, denial letters and phone calls, only ONE job came to fruition. If you don't see God's hand in that, you can finish reading this blog right here. We have learned to spot God's hand from a mile away, and we know it's all over this job. Now, it's not a job that Michael would really have ever chosen for himself. It's a job where he is TOTALLY uncomfortable and out of his element. He knows nothing about what he is doing. Most of the people he works with are nothing like him. But God has taken a man with a willing heart to be used by Him, and said, "Michael, this is where I want you for now." Apparently, it's not about Michael and what he wants.
This job was referred to Michael from his good friend who had just started working there. It is a job dispatching fuel and grains to farmers, convenience stores, and other companies that need these services. The dispatcher gets a call for a product and communicates with a truck driver to deliver the goods. For those of you who know Michael, you might be giggling that he is communicating with truck drivers. I laughed, so go ahead. It pays well and the hours aren't horrible, so it'll do for now. And it may do forever...who knows. We've quit trying to figure out what God wants for us to do! But for now, we know why Michael has been placed there. His friend who referred the job to him is going through a really painful divorce. The divorce will probably be final sometime within the next few months. This friend needs Michael to lean on, and where does Michael sit at work? Right next to his friend. Isn't God funny like that? So, this job has nothing to do with Michael....God is just using him right now to uphold his friend and help him through the most painful experience of his life.
Wouldn't it be great if everyone lived their lives this way? Just at the mercy of wherever God needed you to be at the moment? Wouldn't it be great if everyone realized that this life has nothing to do with you? If we put others higher than ourselves. If we loved and cared for people more than we love and care for our things, our bank account, our free time, etc. What if we all began to realize that God can work best when we just let Him have control over ALL the little issues in our lives. He will put us exactly where He needs us to be. And it's okay if it's not exactly where you want to be. God knows the desires of your heart. But he also has tons of other children that He needs you to impact before He can give you the desires of your heart.
We have been giving God 100 percent for the past 5 months. Has it been easy? NO!!! It has been extremely hard. Why? Because we've been warring against our human nature. We've been fighting against what society says we need to do. Michael could have had many jobs paying very well with his flying background. But that is not what we have felt God's call to do. God wants us here, in Grand Forks, for some reason. Some reason that may have nothing to do with us. When God is finished with us here, we may be called elsewhere. Who knows? We're just floating along on faith. Jesus said in Matthew 11:29-30, "Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." Giving up our human-ness, following God is really the easy way. No worry or stress. Just let God handle it. Easier said than done...but SO worth it!
I challenge you all to give it up for God today. Let Him lead your every step. Not just some steps, but every single one. It's not all about you. Sometimes God needs you to meet the needs of His other children. Find where God is working, and join Him there.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Coincidences and Lunatics
I totally heard from God yesterday. He spoke to me and Michael separately and said the same thing. Thankfully it came to Michael, too, otherwise I would think I was going crazy! So, here's the story on this one:
I was at Walmart yesterday and ran into Dennis. Dennis is a man who used to go to our church & he is a....well....um...peculiar man. He is a super deep thinker, spends tons of time in God's Word, is kind of a recluse, and just different than other people. I'm just a tad bit uncomfortable around him, but I'm not sure why. When he went to our church a few years ago, he would come up to me frequently and say, "God wanted me to tell you this", and he'd tell me something that I really needed to hear. Sometimes it was things that confused me and made me think. But he was generally spot on.
So, I haven't seen Dennis in quite a while. Long enough that he has no clue what's been going on in mine and Michael's life lately. He asked what Michael was up to and I told him he had been looking for a job since separating from the Air Force. That sent Dennis into a deep think mode, which made me a little uncomfortable in the dairy section of Walmart. But then he turned straight toward me and said, "Will you encourage Michael with these words? Tell him to remember what God told him long ago, he shouldn't doubt that. And when he wakes up at 4am, that's God gently nudging him that He wants to talk to him. God is the only thing that will help him get to the other side of this, and just let him know that he's almost there."
Thank you, Dennis or messenger from God, whatever you want me to call you. I call Michael on the way home from Walmart and tell him about my experience. Michael gets a little choked up because the thing God told him "long ago" was that he was to be a pastor and the thing he's been doubting lately is how he can provide for his family on a pastor's salary. Secondly, he has been waking up quite frequently at 4am and not being able to go back to sleep. And thirdly, we have been asking God (pestering God, actually) lately how much longer we have to go through this waiting period. We've been waiting for 5 months for God to reveal His plan to us!
Weirding you out yet? Well, the story isn't over. Michael goes to pick up the kids at school about 30 minutes later. A sweet friend of mine who I work in the lunchroom with got out of her car, walked up to Michael, and said she had something to share with him that God wanted her to tell him. She asked him to read in the Bible about Jesus walking on the water. Michael informed her that he knew that story. She said, "I want you to REALLY read it and pay attention to the wording." Focus on the storm, and then read that when Jesus got into the boat with the disciples that they were IMMEDIATELY on the shore and safe. She encouraged him that God has something for him that is coming IMMEDIATELY and it's something big! She told him that she didn't know what any of this meant, but God wanted her to share it with him.
Most people would chalk all this up to coincidence and a bunch of lunatics! But I don't believe in coincidence anymore. Too many things have happened "coincidentally" when I've prayed about things. God spoke to me. And He spoke to Michael. And he said the same thing. And I'm not a lunatic. God gave us encouragement that our waiting is almost over. The storm is almost passed. And He spoke through two willing and highly favored servants.
I asked my dad the other day to pray for us, and to help me hold up my shield of faith because it was starting to get quite heavy. I think God is holding that shield for me now because someone the burden seems a little lighter. I'm excited to see what is coming immediately and what it is! I'm sure I'll tell you all about very soon...maybe some morning at 4am! See you then!
I was at Walmart yesterday and ran into Dennis. Dennis is a man who used to go to our church & he is a....well....um...peculiar man. He is a super deep thinker, spends tons of time in God's Word, is kind of a recluse, and just different than other people. I'm just a tad bit uncomfortable around him, but I'm not sure why. When he went to our church a few years ago, he would come up to me frequently and say, "God wanted me to tell you this", and he'd tell me something that I really needed to hear. Sometimes it was things that confused me and made me think. But he was generally spot on.
So, I haven't seen Dennis in quite a while. Long enough that he has no clue what's been going on in mine and Michael's life lately. He asked what Michael was up to and I told him he had been looking for a job since separating from the Air Force. That sent Dennis into a deep think mode, which made me a little uncomfortable in the dairy section of Walmart. But then he turned straight toward me and said, "Will you encourage Michael with these words? Tell him to remember what God told him long ago, he shouldn't doubt that. And when he wakes up at 4am, that's God gently nudging him that He wants to talk to him. God is the only thing that will help him get to the other side of this, and just let him know that he's almost there."
Thank you, Dennis or messenger from God, whatever you want me to call you. I call Michael on the way home from Walmart and tell him about my experience. Michael gets a little choked up because the thing God told him "long ago" was that he was to be a pastor and the thing he's been doubting lately is how he can provide for his family on a pastor's salary. Secondly, he has been waking up quite frequently at 4am and not being able to go back to sleep. And thirdly, we have been asking God (pestering God, actually) lately how much longer we have to go through this waiting period. We've been waiting for 5 months for God to reveal His plan to us!
Weirding you out yet? Well, the story isn't over. Michael goes to pick up the kids at school about 30 minutes later. A sweet friend of mine who I work in the lunchroom with got out of her car, walked up to Michael, and said she had something to share with him that God wanted her to tell him. She asked him to read in the Bible about Jesus walking on the water. Michael informed her that he knew that story. She said, "I want you to REALLY read it and pay attention to the wording." Focus on the storm, and then read that when Jesus got into the boat with the disciples that they were IMMEDIATELY on the shore and safe. She encouraged him that God has something for him that is coming IMMEDIATELY and it's something big! She told him that she didn't know what any of this meant, but God wanted her to share it with him.
Most people would chalk all this up to coincidence and a bunch of lunatics! But I don't believe in coincidence anymore. Too many things have happened "coincidentally" when I've prayed about things. God spoke to me. And He spoke to Michael. And he said the same thing. And I'm not a lunatic. God gave us encouragement that our waiting is almost over. The storm is almost passed. And He spoke through two willing and highly favored servants.
I asked my dad the other day to pray for us, and to help me hold up my shield of faith because it was starting to get quite heavy. I think God is holding that shield for me now because someone the burden seems a little lighter. I'm excited to see what is coming immediately and what it is! I'm sure I'll tell you all about very soon...maybe some morning at 4am! See you then!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)