From the mouths of (babes) teens....

Sometimes teenagers can be highly annoying!  They can be downright obnoxious.  If you are the parent of a teen or if you work with teens, you know what I mean!  But then, sometimes they can be the biggest blessings of your life. 

God used an amazing group of teenagers this weekend to pierce the hearts of adults at Riverside Christian School's annual dinner theater.  I'm assuming all the other adults in the room were as touched as I was, but I can only speak for myself.  I knew the night was going to be good when the title of the one of the skits the kids were performing was titled, "More Coke".  Since I'm a Coke addict, I knew I'd be in for a treat!  Who says God can't use ANYTHING to speak to you?! 

Lately I've been struggling.  I've been struggling with the thought that God's blessings will eventually run out.  I've lived a blessed life.  There have been some ugly moments, but blessed still yet.  Embarking on an adventure of giving it all up for God, I feel that His blessings are going to eventually cease and we are going to be screwed!  Please tell me you have felt that way at some point in your life, too!  I know I'm not alone here!  I've also been struggling with the idea of a lost identity since I'll be giving up my job of being a children's minister when we move.  That's been my identity for the past 6 years with my church.  Well, let me tell you a little bit about how God met me through the mouths of teenagers in a dinner theater and cleared up any doubt that had been festering in my mind.

My daughter, a budding actress, was cast in a skit that will forever change our lives.  She is on stage with Jesus talking to Him about how she has a hard time trusting Him.  So, Jesus tells her to turn around and fall into his arms, you know..the Trust Fall?  We've all had to do it at some team building event in our lifetime.  So, she eventually falls backwards into Jesus' arms realizing how easy it is to trust Him when He's right there and you can see Him!  Then Jesus tells her to face Him and now fall backwards.  Her trust is then tested because no one is behind her to catch her!  Why would I fall back Jesus?  You are not there to catch me?!  Trusting God when things He asks you to do don't make sense to you.  Well, by the end of her act, Michael and I were at our seats with tears streaming down our face.  Thank you, God, for speaking to us through our daughter.  But also, thank you, God, for speaking to our daughter through that skit.  That skit is what made her realize that moving away from her comfortable life in Grand Forks to go where God needs us next was the next trustworthy step.  Wow.  God works in such COOL ways!  They aren't really mysterious...just extremely cool!

Other skits showed me that God's goodness is not going to run out.  God is faithful and true and can be trusted over and over again.  Another skit spoke volumes to me that whatever I have, God can use.  My identity is found in what I give over to Him to use.  My identity is not found in what I have BEEN for years, but it's found in what I offer up to Him to use.  Tears, tears, blowing the nose, wiping the eyes.  Get it together, Becky!  Okay, a few breaths and I have it all together, until they start playing that song, "Your love never fails, it never gives up, IT NEVER RUNS OUT ON ME!!"  Seriously, God?  I just got over the tears and here they come again.

He is relentless in His pursuit of us.  That relationship is what He is wanting from us.  And He will do anything and everything to set us straight, to get us to trust Him, and to wrap His arms around us.  Later that evening, my family was watching The Bible on DVD.  Jesus goes up to a disciple and gives him a big bear hug.  Alex says, "I'd love to have a Jesus hug."  Tears again.  I can be a blubbering fool!  :)  But I was just relishing in the fact that I had spent a whole evening in the midst of one big Jesus hug that those amazing teenagers delivered to me.  Thank you, kids, for doing something that you'll never know the impact of.  Man, God is so good.

Corsar Adventure

Being a Corsar is never a boring thing.  If life starts to get too mundane and predictable, we can count on God to change that and shake it up for us.  That may sound horrible to someone who hates change, but Corsars adapt well to change.  Good thing.

We are embarking on a new adventure.  We've sensed God moving for about a year now, but we've just had to be patient and wait on His timing.  We got used to that in the Air Force...always waiting for new orders and a new change of scenery.  Well, now that we are out of the Air Force, making a move on our own seems a bit overwhelming and scary.  So, we've been putting it off just knowing God had something else in mind for us.  Surely moving is not what He has in mind for us.  That will be too hard.  Have you seen all the STUFF we have?!  Moving that by ourselves?  Are you serious, God?  Can't you just use us here, where we are comfortable and secure?  Where we are rooted and finally getting established?

Nope.

It's about a testimony of obedience.  We offered up our lives to do whatever God wants with us and to go wherever He wants us.  That means what?  Well, that's the lesson we are learning.  What exactly does that mean?  So far, we've learned it means letting go and letting God lead.  And if He leads to another state, then we follow.  Period.  No "but", "why", or doubt.  I am human, though, so there will still be all those things, but I am learning to combat those doubts and fears.

So, all this to say...Corsars are moving.  At least we are moving in the direction toward God.  We are still waiting for Him to reveal to us exactly where we are moving and when.  Michael has decided he'll be attending seminary full-time...not online.  God is pursuing a deep relationship with Michael and wants ALL of his time, not just what he has left over at the end of a long work day.  He has currently applied at Southeastern Baptist Seminary in Wake Forest, NC, and Southern Seminary in Louisille, KY.  So, we are awaiting orders from God  to which one we will be going to.

Stepping off a ledge into God's arms with faith that He will sell our house here, He will provide a house at our new location, He will provide all the finances for a move, He will ease the pain of uprooting and moving, etc.  There are lots of "etcs" there, but I'm trying not to overwhelm myself with them!  God has just told us to move forward.  He'll divulge the rest of the plan only as we start walking in faith.

So, won't you come along this adventure with us?  You can pray for us and hug us frequently when you see us.  You can send us encouragments and verses that God lays on your hearts to share with us.

I started this blog about 3 years ago when our life went through a major upheaval.  A major life change.  I'm seeing a pattern now.  :)  But a pattern of faith and trust is a good pattern to see.  Following Christ is exciting.  I'll keep you all posted about what is going on with us.  Thank you for your support and prayers.

Week Two of Rest

So, my last post was explaining to you how I can't just "be still". But my body needs some time right now to be still.  Fighting with my brain to make my body rest is quite exhasting!  Oh, the irony!

So, week two of my sabbatical.  I've watched it snow, read 2 books, watched some movies on Netflix,  spring cleaned the house, napped a bit, had some great lunch dates,  started playing Candy Crush Saga (the most addictive internet game ever), and just spent time with God.  It's really strange not focusing on children's ministry all week long.  That really consumed every ounce of my thoughts.  And guess what?  Children's church was a raging success last week without me!  I'm so proud of Val and the team for making it seamless and perfect for the kids.  I guess my pride is the thing that made me fear that it couldn't be done without me.  Forgive me, God, for being so prideful.  First lesson learned in the "being still phase".

I'm sure there will be plenty of lessons that God will be teaching me.  Right now, our family is working on a faith lesson.  And being still is the perfect way to bask in the lesson of faith.  God's timing is always perfect for He sees around the bends that we don't see coming.  I'm so thankful that I am learning to trust Him.  Even in the craziness of this week in our nation with bombings, explosions, and wide spread fear, I can rest in God's ever peaceful arms knowing that He has everything under control.  I need not fear for I know who is walking in front of me, behind me, and holding my hand the whole way.  Lesson number 2 is almost complete.  I wonder how many lessons there will be?  I guess I just need to be still and wait for the Teacher.

Be still!

I'm sure I've used that title before on some other blog post in the past.  It's something God constantly has to teach me...then teach me again...then pound me over the head with.

I'm good at lots of things, but being still is not one of them.  I can't even sit in the bathtub and "relax".  What is that about?  I don't understand the concept of "being still".  I am very good at running myself to the point of exhaustion.  I can pour my whole heart and soul into something until it takes every ounce of life out of me.  I'm really good at that.  And the product I produce is great, but the effects on my body are not so great.  And let's face it, I'm almost 40.  My body can't take a beating like it used to.

So, I decided to "be still".  I'm on sabbatical from my children's ministry job for the next 5 weeks.  Hardest choice I've ever had to make, but definitely something I need to do.  I need to recharge my brain, my heart, my body...and just let them do nothing for a bit.  I need to not pour into anything for a few weeks until I feel like myself again.  All I can say is it's going to be hard. But it seems that all the good lessons in my life that God absolutely has to teach me always seem to be hard.  So, I'm looking forward to the lesson.

My being still for this first week has involved spring cleaning (real "still", huh?) & picking some paint colors to paint a few rooms.  May not seem "still", but it's making time out for things I've neglected but that I really enjoy.  I've put my hobbies aside for a while now, that I'm going to spend the next few weeks having fun.  I even sat down and watched a movie the other day...all by myself... in the middle of the day!  How refreshing!

God made me the way I am for a reason.  Now, I just need to learn balance.  I think I'll sit down and ponder that...and possibly take a nap on the couch.  :)

Harlem Shake Kids Matter Ministries Version

This is what I do for a living.  I get paid to act like a nut!  Best job in the world...hands down!  ;)

This was our children's ministry lock-in this past weekend.  It was so fun to shoot this.  Although very few kids had heard of the Harlem Shake.  I got to educate them on viral videos and what is cool right now!  HAHA  Although I had to be very selective on Harlem Shake videos to show...most of them are not quite appropriate for little eyes! 

Thanks to GABC College Ministry for your Harlem Shake at Chick-fil-a.  That was a great example of one for us to watch to get some ideas.

You have made me new!

Every time I feel a need to blog, I realize it's usually about the same theme.  New life in Christ, how God takes the ugly and makes it GOOD, broken...now redeemed.  I guess I could consider this the main theme of my life.  The need to blog this time comes from an experience I had recently with my precious husband. 

Most of you know our Air Force history.  Michael valiantly served as an exemplary pilot for 10 years.  He gave it his all.  He was awarded for numerous things, events, activities.  His whole identity was wrapped up in his career and what the Air Force made him.  Pride comes before the fall, is the saying.  Is that biblical?  A proverb?  I'm certain it is...will have to look that up later.  Michael has been out of the service now for 2.5 years.  I write about it a lot because it was a traumatic loss for our family!  You get used to things being done a certain way and then, it's ended.  It's a little surreal.  We were used to the Air Force determining our destiny.  Telling us where to go next and what to do.  God had a hand in putting a screeching halt to that when we got out.  It was at that moment that Michael fully surrendered, recklessly abandoned everything to follow only what God wants for our life.  Easy?  NO!  It's quite the traumatic experience.  It  probably could have been peaceful if we hadn't been kicking and screaming the whole way. 

So, here we sit quite a few years into our "new" life.  Michael has tons and tons of military uniforms and paraphernalia in our attic.  He was fine having it sit there for the past 2 years.  Evan, is of course, enamored with all this militaria. So, Michael decided to get it all down the other night, go through it, and determine what he should keep and what he could get rid of.  He pulled it all down, then had to leave for a meeting.  So, Evan pulled EVERYTHING out.  Beaming with pride to see his dad's awards, the uniforms, the patches.  Michael got home from his meeting and Evan had a ton of questions for him about all these military stuff littering my living room!  Michael sat patiently and answered every one of Evan's questions about every item he pulled out.  Then, we put the kids to bed. 

I then found Michael sitting in the living room amidst all the remains of his old life.  He had tears streaming down his face as he held some flight instruments.  He sat there telling me how hard it was to see all this stuff again because it was such a deep part of him.  He told me how he foolishly made all that his identity for so long.  This military life that he wanted to invest in just came to a screeching halt in 2010.  He cried grieving the "old" life.  The man he used to be. 

God pulled him out of that life because God had a better calling for him.  God wanted to use Michael in a way that the Air Force would not allow.  God was going to make Michael a new man.  And he's been chiseling away at him for the past few years now.  Chiseling is a painful process.  It calls for sacrifice, selflessness, humility, putting God's ways above our own. 

The song that has been resonating in my soul for a while now is "New Man" by All Things New.  Wow.  What a song.  I'll share it with you.  Hopefully it helps you to quite grieving the "old man", but reminds you that God has made you into a new creation.  A way better model of what you were before! 

God reminds us constantly that we are His!  Set apart for great things.  Praying God restores my husband's heart and reminds him that his identity is not in his old man, but in what God has made him to be. And watch out world for what's coming!

All I Need

God keeps showing me so many things!  I prayed and asked Him to open my eyes to things I’ve never seen before.  I kind of meant that I wanted to see angels standing guard outside my doors…things like that. 

Instead, He has answered my prayer and is showing me attributes that are travesties…he’s showing me things I haven’t seen or noticed before that need to be changed. 

The coolest thing I’m seeing are people that God is madly in love with!  I’m seeing Christian people who live out of their comfort zone, who are fully invested in God, who seem to keep experiencing “trials”…I’m seeing those things in a backwards way.  The backwards message of the Cross, some have called it.  We typically see God’s blessings as tons of money, a big house, a nice car.  I’m starting to see God’s blessings for what they really are.  Struggles, things that take you to your knees, illness that doesn’t seem to heal, rains that keep falling…those are the blessings.

Backwards?  Yes.  Because the trials and the struggles are what run us straight into God’s arms.  And that’s where He created us to be!!  We seem to take Him out of the equation when life is good.  So, to get us where He wants us, trials abound. 

My dad, who is God’s very best friend, has suffered with shingles for many agonizing months.  My heart breaks for him, but I know God is holding him, so I don’t have to worry about him.  It hurts, but he’s at peace…right where he’s supposed to be.  A dear friend lost her son before Christmas.  The pain I feel in my heart for her is NOTHING compared to the pain she is feeling.  But God has her right in the palm of His hand where true peace exists, so I know she’s okay.  A friend has come to Grand Forks with nothing but the clothes on his back.  He is experiencing true trials right now, but as he stated, “This is where God wants me.  He wants me to be still and wait for Him to provide.”  The trials are where God is!  Of course, He’s there in your success and easiness, too, but we don’t lean into Him as deeply during those times.  Have you noticed that? 

God has opened my eyes to our apathy.  I’m seeing a lot of people who truly just want to be comfortable, and that to them is more important than doing uncomfortable things for God’s people or for God's glory.  My house is so comfortable and warm, so I don’t make time for those who need me outside the walls of my house.  Those are some things I really didn’t want to see when I asked God to show me things I had never seen before.  Those things make me angry, so I’m going to have to now ask God to show me how to do something about it, or how to make peace with it.  But in the meantime, I’m living outside my comfort zone.  That’s where God is.  I hope you’ll view your trials and your struggles as a gift from God.  And if you can’t see the gift, ask Him to show you.  Step out and realize He is truly all you need!