Monday, July 29, 2013

Unbelievable

Tomorrow we head to Wake Forest, NC, to start the process of Chapter ?. I don't even know what chapter we are beginning now. I've lost count! :) We've been visiting family for the past week in Maryland. Michael and I took a trip by ourselves to Wake Forest to find a suitable place to live. We went in with the attitude that we would easily find a house in one day then head back to pick up the kids from their fun few days with the grandparents. Well, one day turned into 4 days! By day 3, all faith was gone and I was a big blubbering mess! "God's got our back." That was the phrase reveberating in the back of my brain, but my heart had lost all hope. We looked a several homes that were just gross. We've been home OWNERS for the past 10 years. We are fine with renting, but we wanted something nice. Not something that smells like cat pee...know what I mean? We had several specifications...not necessarily "needs", but things we'd like to have. A garage, a fenced yard, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. Should be easy to find? Not so much. AND we really needed to stay within our housing budget of about $1150. *Begin laughter now* That's a teeny tiny rent price for a home, but it's our housing allowance through the GI Bill which Michael is using to go to seminary. We had an appointment to look at the "perfect" house. 3 bedrooms, garage, fenced yard, $1250 rent...on a street called "Sovereign Way". Perfect, right? This HAD to be the house God had waiting for us. Our appointment to view the home was at noon. At 11:00, the realtor called us and told us an application had just been submitted for the house. *Cue Becky's massive amount of tears* "What is God doing to us?! Didn't He know this was our house? This one was perfect!" My sweet, patient husband decided it was time for us to pray. Mainly praying for his overly emotional wife at this point. He reminded me God knows what He's doing. He tried to convince me that God obviously had something better for us. "But...but...but..." Then Michael asked me, "Do you really trust that God will meet this need?" Well obviously my emotional state showed that NO, I wasn't trusting too much at this point. It's easy to trust God when everything is working as we "think" it should work. Right now, it wasn't working the way I thought it needed to work. We decided to go driving around because we didn't have anymore appointments for a little while that day. Lo and behold we are driving down a street called Tillamook and there is the cutest little house with a FOR RENT sign in the yard. At first look, my thoughts were that there is no way this rent is in our price range. But Michael took down the number and decided to call the number on the sign. We had to leave a message and WAIT (something I'm getting really good at) for the call back. The doubt crept in and I tried to "guard my heart" knowing the rent was going to be too high or the house would already be rented. Several hours later, the landlord called back and gave us the specs about the home. (Quick, look a few lines above and notice my list of the things we'd like to have) Ready for this? (1) 4 bedrooms (2) 3 bathrooms (3) Garage (4) Fenced yard (5) Fireplace (because God knows I like that sort of thing in the winter) (6) Fresh paint in whole house (7) Brand new carpet in bedrooms (8) 400 sq feet BIGGER than the "perfect" house on Sovereign Way (9) and my favorite thing...Rent is $1150. The landlord told us he could easily rent this house for $1300, but he just didn't feel that was what he was suppoed to rent it for. Can we say that God had our back? Can we say that God prepared the way for us here? This house had been on the market for 1 week...which is an eternity in the rental market. This cute of a house at this cute of a price would have been snagged up in a day if God had not been holding on to it for us. Believe what you want about luck or chance. I choose to believe in Faith. I choose to trust. I'd like to say I'll trust easily from this point forward, but God knows I'm a stubborn cry baby. But I'm going to choose trust a little more quickly next time. I have a whole rest of the year to be trusting in LOTS of things now that my life has been turned upside down in a new town. God has my back. Whom shall I fear?

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Who Am I Now?

This past Sunday I sat in church like a regular person. Not a staff person. Not a person who was in charge of anything. It was nice, but it was a little weird.

I've been struggling with what my identity will be when I am no longer "Mrs. Becky". I have been Mrs. Becky for so long! I know I'll live on in the minds of children as Mrs. Becky, but I don't know that I will be called that once we move on to our next chapter. It's funny how your identity can be caught up in a name.

One of the people taking my place is named Cee Cee. I was telling her how much the kids would love Mrs. Cee Cee. She laughed and said, "I've never been called by my own name since I had children." She has always been 'so-and-so's' mom or 'so-and-so's' wife. She is excited to be identified as her own name!

Mrs. Becky takes on many meanings. It's a woman who loves kids, who loves to serve, who will do anything for anyone. Hearing that name makes kids feel comfortable and loved regardless of how they are treated anywhere else. Those are the things I have strived for in creating my identity. But as I move on into new areas of ministry, I'm excited to see the identity that God will forge in me. It's not about me anymore, it's about God IN me.

 I have decided that my identity now is "Child of the One True King". What that looks like I don't know, but I do know I will continue to strive to live as Mrs. Becky. I will also continue to strive to live as Christ. My new name is Redeemed, Worthy, Accepted, Loved.
 Funny, but that's your name, too!