Monday, October 25, 2010

Is He with you?

I was at Women of Faith this past weekend.  A full weekend of speakers, singers, comedians, girlfriend time, etc.  Two days crammed packed of this.  It's truly amazing.  Last year was my first year and I did not realize I should have brought a ton of kleenex with me for the things that would make me cry!  So, this year, I was armed with kleenex!  When you pray for God to meet you, be prepared.  And have some kleenex.  Because what He shows you is not always pretty.  Things you need to change about yourself.  Things you need to let go of.  Things that He absolutely loves about you that you didn't think was worth loving!

One of the singers this weekend was Mandisa.  Well, I'm a die hard American Idol fan, and I loved her on American Idol.   I hear her on the radio, but have never really heard many of her songs.  So, out come the kleenex when through her God pulls out a song that was written just for me. (There were several of those songs from her which is why I bought her CD!)   I'm sure it touched other ladies as well, but I'm convinced it was written just for me.  :)  If you keep up with my bloggin', you read my last blog about Seasons.  God has really been working with me lately about different seasons of my life.  Time to do this, time to do that.  Timing is right at some times, but not at others.  So, this has been my journey lately.  So, imagine my surprise when she starts this songs off with some of the Ecclesiastes 3 "time for" stuff.  Oh, man!  The water faucets start pouring as I realize God has been with me this entire horrible year of my life. And He will continue to be with me through anything else that falls into my path!

Ever had those moments when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God just pulled up a seat next to you?!  If you haven't...oh, how I pray you will someday experience that.  It takes you to heaven and back.  Although, I haven't come back yet.  I'm still there.  And I plan on staying here.  In God's presence, that is.  I wanted to share the song with you.  I located it on youtube with some words and pretty pictures.  But sometimes just listening to it and inserting the pictures of your own life make things make more sense. 

He is with you!  Just look around...you'll see Him!  But make sure you have your kleenex.

video

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Seasons

I seem to go through this every year.  Every season.  I am alive and vibrant in the summer.  Soaking up the sun and warmth.  Then Fall arrives and slowly my mood is brought back down to earth.  Brought back to a more serene person, which the core of me is not.  So, my bubbly summer self kind of gets trapped under this serene winter exterior.  I'm really struggling with that this year.  I'm fighting against it. 

God reminds us in Ecclesiastes 3 "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven."  He also reminds me in verse 11 "Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time."  I'm going through a lot of change in my life.  Change just like seasons.  And I'm realizing that to get to enjoy Spring, we have to go through the harshness of Winter.  Spring is so much more amazing after a harsh Winter.  Speaking in metaphors can be confusing, so let me explain with some examples.

Much of 2010 has been one big winter for me.  Disappointments, insecurity, frustration, anger.  Then, God brought deliverance from all that and we are enjoying a nice Spring with a change of our hearts, renewed minds, and did I mention Michael was finally approved to separate from active duty Air Force?!  That's an awesome thing for our family!  I'd like that season of new growth and excitement to last for a while, but hence the seasons constantly change. 

Fall and winter can start to get ugly.  Trees are bare, grass is brown.  I feel this in my spirit at times right now.  A little bare and chilly.  I still know God is with me, please don't misunderstand, but I just feel the winter months settling in on my soul.  Sometimes I think God must bring me here to settle me.  To make me sit still under the blanket of His love.  To sip warm tea with Him by the fire.  To cry with Him and help me get all the bad stuff out of my heart.  Some years my "winters" go on for months, but this year I'd like to find myself into an early spring.  And this year, I'd like to really find God in all the seasons of my life.  I'd like to notice Him in the Fall and find beauty in something that I usually don't see as beautiful.  I'd really like to look for Him in the winter, when I feel absolutely abandoned. 

"God makes everything beautiful for its own time".   God is making Becky beautiful for a time He has appointed for her to shine.  Feel free to remind me of that as you see me this fall and winter.  You, too, are being made beautiful for your season.  I'll remind you of that when I see you, too.

Every Season by Nichole Nordeman

Friday, October 8, 2010

Humility

Well, here I sit with coffee breath, humbled.  I have learned yet another lesson today.  My year has been chalked full of them, and I'm grateful that the learning never ceases to end.  I think the day I stop learning, I'll be dead.  One thing I learned today is I'm definitely NOT perfect.  I also learned that I have some awesome friends in my life who God uses to speak truth to me.  I'm just hoping I'm as awesome a friend to them as they are to me. 

I am passionate about standing up for my friends' when they have been hurt.  I don't like when people get their feelings hurt, so I really try to put all the pieces back together.  But later, when you learn the whole story (or the other side) of a situation, you see that it's really not your battle to pick. So, I'm laying down my sword of righteous anger and from now on letting God  handle it.  I believe that's His job anyway.  Forgive me Lord for getting in the way.  You see the mess I've made by getting in the way, so I'm stepping back now.  From now on, I will pray for God's grace to cover Christian messes to fix them.  That's what Joyce Meyer calls messes we Christians like to get ourselves into.  I tend to step into other people's messes.  I'm sure I create my own whirlwind of Christian messes as well.  I'm pretty sure we all do.  "For all have sinned and fallen short of God's glory"  Romans 3:23

I am humbled and sorry for my actions that have caused pain in my friends.  By trying to stand up for some friends, I inadvertently hurt others.  Apparently, I fell off the balance board this time. 

Thankfully, God is still passionately in love with me.  And His grace covers a multitude of sins.  Mine.  Yours.  Everyones.  I prayed to God last night and asked Him to reveal Himself to me in mighty way.  He did that today at Starbucks.  He reminded me that He is with me every single hobbling step of the way.  He pulls me out of the mire and sets me back onto a firm foundation.  "So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you and He will place you on a firm foundation."  1 Peter 5:10