Delight

I have found myself wholeheartedly delighting in my teenage daughter lately. Many years ago there was a song by Sandi Patti called "All This Time" about a mother delighting in her daughter.  Here are a few of the lyrics. 

How you will grow
And a million dreams will dance around you
Over the stars, past the moon
One day I will tell you

Remembering the years
All this time
Moving through the pages of life
You have been a joy to me
Blooming in the sun and the rain
Holding you through laughter and pain
As you dance I delight
I have loved you all this time

My precious little ballerina when she was 5 years old.

Recently I've discovered that even in hard times, I delight in her.  Even when she fights with me, I delight in her. When she would rather not have anything to do with me, I delight in her.  I still want to be with her.  I still want to meet her needs with things that will make her happy.  I'll find a fun little trinket at the store to surprise her with...just because I delight in her. 

Watching her go through a hard time recently with the transition to a new town and a new life, I have found such delight in her.  I have found that God has given her the strength of a lion.  I have seen her big, soft heart that cares for others even when she is hurting.  I have seen so many beautiful traits come out of her.  I see God about to launch her into something amazing.  Pure delight.

I have to memorize scripture in my seminary class.  The past few weeks I've been focusing on my life verse and the 6 verses that follow.  (Psalm 37:23-29) They have been so fitting for our life recently.  I wanted them firmly committed to my memory. Verse 23 says "The Lord directs the steps of the godly.  He delights in every detail of their lives."  I know I've blogged on that verse numerous times, but it's just so powerful!  Recently, God has been highlighting the word delight.

Delight used as a verb means "to please (someone) greatly".  God delights in me.  As his wayward daughter, he delights in me.  When I throw my doubts at him, he delights in me.  When I fight with him, he delights in me.  When I would rather not have anything to do with him for the moment, he still delights in me.  I please Him greatly.  He still wants to be with me.  He meets my needs in the most surprising ways...because he know that makes me happy.  He finds fun little trinkets in His creation to surprise me with...just because He delights in me.

"As you dance, I delight.  I have loved you all this time."

In the midst

Usually when I read blogs, I'm reading about how someone has triumphed over a hurdle, about being on the other side of the storm.

Well, I feel compelled to write in the midst of the storm.  Reading over my blogs since we've been at seminary I've noticed they aren't very uplifting stories.  God is ever present, and you can see His hand in every moment, but it just seems like a constant struggle for us...a constant uphill climb.  (I'll be nice and not insert the video to "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus before she fell off the crazy train.)

But it's constant mountains for us to climb.  Constant disappointments.  Constant tiredness.  Constant work.  Constantly trying to figure out how to do things a new way.  Constantly having our perspectives radically changed on the way we've always done things.  Constantly being brought to our knees.  A constant state of worship and awe for God who has placed us here for His glory.

Studying the book of Job in my Old Testament class a few weeks ago, I was brought to tears.  (Another constant in my life).  Job was having trials of every kind.  Nothing he had done to "deserve" all the bad that was happening to him.  He just wanted an explanation of why these things were happening.  After his friends try to explain in their limited logic, God finally shows up to comfort Job.  Job was probably hoping that God would bring in some cosmic answer to all his questions of "why?!" But he got no explanation from God...he simply got God's presence.  And God's presence was enough.

I cried because I realized that through all my constant struggles, God's presence is simply enough.  When I struggle is when I reach out for God the most.  So, embrace the struggle for that's where God is. 

As I watch him restore my daughter after a few months of sheer brokenness that breaks a momma's heart, God reminds me over and over that "I've got this."  Last night, my daughter and I sat in silence and listened to this song.  Tears streaming down my face as God reminded both of us that He's still here.  Always has been.  Climbs the mountains with us.  Fights the battles right alongside us. Never leaves us alone. 

I'm hoping to write a blog from the other side of the mountain soon.  Maybe even after we've made it to the top.  It may be a while, or it may be tomorrow.  Who knows?!  But we are still here faithfully climbing.  Corsarfam4....plus 1.