This week, though, I am so overwhelmed by emotions and the goodness of God and I just can't contain it all in my body any longer! It must come out on paper...or a screen, you know what I mean!
Last week, my neighbor went to be with Jesus following a few days in the hospital after a massive stroke. I was listening to a podcast about grieving widows after that happened and a certain widow's testimony really struck me. Before her husband died she asked God for help, and His answer was "Praise Me." She was angry that was how God had chosen to answer her because she was praying for healing! Being obedient she began to praise God and even though her husband died, the praise is what sustained her through the grief. I've been meditating on that concept all week. Little did I know it would be preparing me.
While my neighbor was in the hospital, my dad's older sister, my Aunt Nola, whom I love dearly and has always been such an encouraging rock in our family, was put in the hospital struggling with kidney failure and a plethora of other health issues. My dad has been by her side for weeks now. Her children came in knowing it might be their final farewells. Today my dad tearfully called me saying today was probably going to be her last day day due to some complications. I cried out to God and asked Him to give me a song so I could praise Him as I grieved.
Silence.
I made my breakfast and sat down to do my bible reading for the day, and that's when God gave me my song, because "If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find Me." Jeremiah 29:13 The Psalms overwhelmingly reminded me of God's eternal faithfulness and steadfast love through the ages. Great is His faithfulness. He gives strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow! Both my children are reading in the Psalms right now, and Evan commented the other day that most of the songs we sing in church come right out of the Psalms. I love when God shows up to my kiddos!
I had been feeling discouraged because I had been fervently praying for miracles and healing for both my neighbor and for my aunt. I felt my prayers had fallen on deaf ears as it seems God did not answer either of my prayers. James 5:16 says "The prayers of a righteous man avails much"...so maybe I'm just not so righteous. But then I began to walk through my mind of all the times God has been faithful. Faithful to my family in providing a legacy of faith, faithful to me to provide me with such amazing neighbors who always have our backs, faithful to my children to be their good Father, faithful to my husband to provide financially for our family, and the list goes on and on and on!
"The love of God is greater far than tongue or pen can ever tell. Could we with ink the ocean fill and were the skies of parchment made? Were every stalk on earth a quill and every man a scribe by trade. To write the love of God above would drain the ocean dry. Nor could the scroll contain the whole, though stretched from sky to sky. "~Hymn "The Love of God"
This afternoon, my Aunt Nola also entered the presence of Heaven. As my dad texted me, "She is looking into Jesus' eyes right now." What a comforting fact that she is now healed. My neighbor is also now healed. God did answer my prayers. I am righteous because Jesus made me righteous through His death and resurrection, so my prayers did avail much. Great is His faithfulness unto me.
I'm so thankful that the faithfulness of our great God allows me the hope to hug my neighbor Jim and kiss his cheek when I get there, and the joy when my Aunt Nola is standing at the gates of Heaven when I arrive to show me around and introduce me to everyone. God is so good to us.
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