Redeemed

I have SO many things I want to write about.  I haven't blogged since May because life has just gotten so busy.  Summer has taken over!  I'll just have to find time to write about all the things flooding my mind.  But today, I'm going to pick the most recent thing. 

I've been in ministry now for almost 6 years.  I love my job working with children.  Most days are fun, some days are not so fun.  But God is there in all the days, so it's all good.  I work for God, and He's an awesome boss.  Some days I lose sight of the fact that He's who I work for.  It's those days that make ministry unbearable.  I recently had one of those days of unbearable-ness.  Is that a word?  Because that's how I felt.  All of a sudden I felt that nothing made sense, nothing was working properly, I was a failure, unworthy of my position, etc.  Everything came crashing down on me. 

It's not that I'm prideful about my job, but I do take my job very seriously.  Statistics show that if a person does not accept Christ by the age of 12, they'll have a hard time in adulthood making sense of His existence.  The way a child is treated in church will determine if that child continues going to church as a teen/adult.  A lot rides on children's ministry.  That's why I have an awesome prayer warrior who upholds this ministry in prayer and prays away any evil influence on it.  The spiritual warfare is great for children's pastors and their ministry. 

I don't run my ministry, God does.  It's God who floods my mind with great ideas, object lessons, games, etc, to help kids see Him.  I'm just His hands and feet.  I'm an emptied out tool that allows God to use me to reach kids.  Sunday, I let someone talk to me in a way that made me feel that instead of a warrior, I was a failure.  I let this person take my self-esteem from me and trample it.  It did not feel good. 

My self-esteem and my worth come solely from Christ and the way He sees me.  He sees me as perfect and redeemed.  Wholly beautiful, valuable, and flawless.  God wants me to stop trying to make my ministry great, because He has already done that.  Stop trying to DO everything, and just relish in the fact that the war is already won.  Christ has already DONE everything that needs to be done.  I just have to give it to Him every week and allow Him to use me as He sees fit.  I am redeemed.  I've been set free.