I've been under strong conviction lately that it's time to start cutting the apron strings a lot more for my children. I literally do everything for them. And I'm learning that is hurtful to their development. Of course, I do it not to hurt them, but because I love them so much. My spiritual gift is service, so I'm showing them how much I love and value them by doing everything for them! Well...at least that's what I've been thinking. But after much reading, I'm finally getting it through my head to start letting them be who they are. Letting them fail if they have to. Letting them clean their rooms even though it's not as clean as I'd like it. Letting them have their own say. Within boundaries, of course. I'm not letting them go totally...just easing up a little.
Over a lunch date today, my tender hearted Evan told me of his desire for friends. Friends who liked the same things he liked, friends...like he used to have in North Dakota. His desire to be viewed not as "the new kid nobody knows", but the cool kid who everyone likes. Back in North Dakota, he was cool because he was Mrs. Becky's son. Mrs. Becky used him for a vital role in children's church. All the kids knew Evan. They all looked up to Evan.
I explained to him that NOW he has the opportunity to be cool based on who he is...not because he's Mrs. Becky's son. His reply to me with crocodile tears was, "But I always want to be Mrs. Becky's son." Oh, my dear heart...you will always be my son. You will always be my super cool, super intelligent, big hearted kid. But now you can define yourself based on who YOU are. Not based on who I am. Not a person has ever met Evan who didn't instantly love him. I am so thankful for his presence in my life. And I cannot wait to see what God chooses to do with that big cool heart of his!
Instead of him being Mrs. Becky's son, I now get to be known as "Evan's mom". COOL!
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