Seasons

I seem to go through this every year.  Every season.  I am alive and vibrant in the summer.  Soaking up the sun and warmth.  Then Fall arrives and slowly my mood is brought back down to earth.  Brought back to a more serene person, which the core of me is not.  So, my bubbly summer self kind of gets trapped under this serene winter exterior.  I'm really struggling with that this year.  I'm fighting against it. 

God reminds us in Ecclesiastes 3 "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven."  He also reminds me in verse 11 "Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time."  I'm going through a lot of change in my life.  Change just like seasons.  And I'm realizing that to get to enjoy Spring, we have to go through the harshness of Winter.  Spring is so much more amazing after a harsh Winter.  Speaking in metaphors can be confusing, so let me explain with some examples.

Much of 2010 has been one big winter for me.  Disappointments, insecurity, frustration, anger.  Then, God brought deliverance from all that and we are enjoying a nice Spring with a change of our hearts, renewed minds, and did I mention Michael was finally approved to separate from active duty Air Force?!  That's an awesome thing for our family!  I'd like that season of new growth and excitement to last for a while, but hence the seasons constantly change. 

Fall and winter can start to get ugly.  Trees are bare, grass is brown.  I feel this in my spirit at times right now.  A little bare and chilly.  I still know God is with me, please don't misunderstand, but I just feel the winter months settling in on my soul.  Sometimes I think God must bring me here to settle me.  To make me sit still under the blanket of His love.  To sip warm tea with Him by the fire.  To cry with Him and help me get all the bad stuff out of my heart.  Some years my "winters" go on for months, but this year I'd like to find myself into an early spring.  And this year, I'd like to really find God in all the seasons of my life.  I'd like to notice Him in the Fall and find beauty in something that I usually don't see as beautiful.  I'd really like to look for Him in the winter, when I feel absolutely abandoned. 

"God makes everything beautiful for its own time".   God is making Becky beautiful for a time He has appointed for her to shine.  Feel free to remind me of that as you see me this fall and winter.  You, too, are being made beautiful for your season.  I'll remind you of that when I see you, too.