Fall Apart

I hear songs on the radio and assume God had them written just for me.  So many songs seem to apply to my life.  It's like someone is right inside the deepest part of me seeing what's going on and writes a very public song about it!  I'm pretty sure God has something to do with that.  This is the newest one I keep hearing and know it was written for me.

My favorite line is "How can I come to the end of me and somehow still have all I need?!"

I used to be all about keeping it all together.  Well, I still am to some degree.  My calendar is my lifeline and it's how I keep all our family activities organized.  I take my calendar everywhere, so it usually starts falling apart at this point in the year.  My friend laughed at me the other day stating that my "lifeline was falling apart." I decided I needed to get some organizational help for my calendar/lifeline.  I got a cute binder to keep my calendar pages in, but that was not enough.  So, off I went to Office Max to find some organizers for my binder, and I got a little giddy.  I hope no one noticed, but I was like a kid in a candy store.  I admitted that to my highly organized husband later that evening and a look of pride just swept across his face.  Maybe I'm finally arriving.  ;)  Now, don't be coming to me for organizing advice. I'm not that far into it.  I'm just starting off with binder organizers.  And I recently bought a few baskets to hold some things. (maybe I'm more organized that I originally thought...)

But the point is, I can try and organize my life all I want, but God usually has different ideas for me.  God lets me have my binder organizers and baskets, but when I try to make it look like my life is all together so that I can look good to other people, that's when God steps in to save me.  I'm learning that it's okay to fall apart.  It's okay to be a little disheveled at times.  (I've recently been spotted out and about without much makeup on lately, too!)  It's okay to be human.  When I'm wearing my mask of perfection, I don't seem to feel God's presence very much.  But when I let it all go and it starts to crumble a bit, that's when I feel God reaching in to save me.  I'm a princess...I like to be swept off my feet and saved.  I was created that way.  And God is all into the saving.

So, I'm going to do my job.  And I'm going to let God do His job.  I may fall apart every once in a while, but don't feel sorry for me.  It's all good.   My lifeline, on the other hand, won't be falling apart any time soon!